Chapter 11

Zsadist

The next two days pass by like a blur. There is a lot going on in the house and Bella is on my case the whole time. She wants to talk all the time, every minute of every hour. I want to just go my separate way but nope. No luck with that. After day two of family dinners and date night and all the nonsense that she had me doing, I figured it was time.

“Bella, we need to talk.” She eagerly puts down her journal and looks up at me.

“Yes?” She gives me her full attention and I almost laugh at her. If only she knew how fed up I was with everything.

“Okay. I am just going to say it. I can’t do this anymore.” Waving my hand back and forth. “I am not relationship material and I am not good for you.” I keep my head down, not able to look at her face. “You deserve better than someone like me. Someone that can’t give you what anyone else on this planet can give you. I don’t love you as much as you love me.” Saying the words really lifted a weight off my shoulders.

I glance up at Bella and she is breaking down in front of me. Big tears running down her cheeks and her shoulders shaking as she sobbed. “Shit Bella, I’m sorry, I just want to be truthful.”

She seems to cry more with that. She tries to talk but can’t get past her sobs. I take her into my arms and let her cry some of it off. After a few minutes she slows and is able to talk normally.

“How long has this been this way?” I really didn’t want to come completely clean to her, but knowing she needs to know the truth.

“It has been a while, maybe about a month now.” She stiffens in my arms as she hears me say it.

“So, ever since you started going out every night hunting?”

I nod and try and rub her back. “Yeah, around that time.” We sit there for a few more minutes and sit in silence.

“So, what are we going to do now?” she asks quietly.

I don’t know how to tell her what I want. I don’t know how to tell her what I need. I just have to say it. “I think it’s time for us to move on.”

She breathes steadily, “So, you want me to move out?”

I am amazed at how well she is taking this. I know I am breaking her heart, but there is nothing else for me to do. I can’t handle this any longer. “You don’t have to leave the mansion. I just think it would be better if we weren’t confined to the same room anymore.” I lower my head. I know I am going to go to hell for saying that. I took such a perfect female and broke her into a million pieces.

She steps out of my arms and goes to her side of the bed. “Okay, I know there are spare rooms in the west wing. I will just go over there.” She isn’t crying, she isn’t devastated, she is holding herself together for me. This female would do anything for me and I can’t even stand to be in the same room as her. I have even had sex with another female in spite of what this female would do for me.

I stay out of her way as she moves around. “Do you want me to give you some time alone?” Knowing that if she starts crying again, I will take back everything I said and try and please her. She has given me so much that I can’t even begin to thank her. She woke me up. Without her, who knows if I would be the person I am now.

She lowers her head and grabs a hold of the bed. “Yeah, that would be nice. Can you also send Beth over here?” I nod and walk out of the room and walk toward Wrath and Beth’s room. I knock and Wrath enters, standing only in a pair of work-out pants.

“Sorry to bother you, but if Beth is available, Bella would like her to go to my room.” Wrath looked me over, sniffed the air and glared at me slightly then went under control just when Beth came to the door.

“Everything okay?” Beth pushes Wrath out of the way and walks out of the room.

I stand back, giving Beth plenty of room away from me. I don’t want Wrath to come down my throat for being too close to his female. “Yeah, she’s fine she just needs a friend.” I look back at Wrath that has a grip on the door but closes it as I walk Beth to my room. I leave and start walking the halls again while the females do what females do.

After about two hours I go back to my room and find it empty. Everything is back to the way it was before Bella was there. The bare minimum. I lie down and instantly go to sleep, so exhausted from the past few days.

Payne

I had not worked out in 3 days. It had been the longest 3 days of my life. I haven’t worked out; I have barely left my room. I was so afraid of running into him. Yet, I kept waiting for a knock on my door....a knock that never came. So, he must be sorry it happened. He must have just needed me to release in that way since he couldn’t with Bella.

I ran over the last month in my head countless times in the last 3 days. He was my friend and I was his. With all that was going on in his head, it was no wonder our relationship progressed the way it had. I don’t know that I could have done anything differently. Well, maybe, I could have tried not to kiss him. But I was prepared to move beyond that. He was the one who locked the door and came at me. I had to shake the thought from my head. It was not going to help things.

I heard commotion outside my door so I open it to see a very upset Bella with suitcases in each hand and Beth walking aside her. Beth sees me standing at my door with a questioning look on my face. She approaches me and whispers, “Zsadist asked her to leave his room. She is going to stay in one of the spare rooms until she makes other arrangements.”

I tried to hide the shock from my face, yet inside I was dancing.

“Beth, is there anything I can do?”

“No, love, let’s just give her some space.”

“Of course.” And I closed my door. I jumped on my bed and shoved my face into a pillow so my scream could not be heard.

What did this mean? Why did he dismiss her? Did this have to do with me and what happened between us?

Suddenly, I realized I was right. Our rendezvous in the training center had complicated things for him. I flipped over on my bed. Oh no! What have I done?! He must be so confused and upset. My brain was on overdrive and scattered. I decided to go to him. At the very least, he needed someone to talk to.

I hopped in the shower, then dried off, leaving my hair to air dry so it would be naturally wavy. I throw on some yoga pants and a tank top, trying to keep it casual. Yet, my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. Why was I ... nervous? He’s a friend. A friend that needs you, I tell myself. Making sure the hallway was clear, I headed to the other side of the mansion. I had to keep reminding myself to take deep breaths. My stomach was all fluttery and my heart was pounding. Standing in front of his door, I hesitated. What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if he can’t be friends with me anymore after what happened? My subconscious takes over and reminds me I will never know unless I knock. And suddenly, my knuckles are hitting at his door.