Chapter 8

Zsadist

I pick Payne up and place her next to me. Needing a minute to process what is going on in my head. I rub my hands over my skull, knowing I need to talk to her about this. I look up and she is walking to the door. Well, more like running toward the door. She leaves me alone on the floor of the training center. I am hard and breathless and only wanting one thing. And that thing just walked out on me.

I stand and think about going after her. The idea comes and goes. I can’t do that. She left me, there must have been a reason. Yeah, there was a reason, she didn’t want me. I forced myself on her and she was just being a friend to me.

I curse myself and walk back to my bedroom as I walk straight into the shower not even acknowledging Bella in my room. I step into the shower and rub my face and head again trying to push the feeling of having Payne in my arms. I lean into the water and let it run all over me. Hopefully washing away this feeling I have. This… pain? A pain at not having her? I don’t know what it is but it is driving me crazy. The shower door opens and Bella is standing there fully dressed like she is about to go out.

I turn and look at her. Asking her, with my eyes, what she wanted “I am going out. Don’t know when I will be back.” She looks me up and down seeing that I am probably looking like the shit that I feel at the moment. “You okay Z?” I turn back to the water and nod while letting the water hit me more. “Okay, well if you need me, just call.” She eyes me for a few more moments and then closes the door and leaves.

I am feeling a lot better with Bella not being here. The whole idea that I have been apprehensive about coming to my own room shocks me. I haven’t wanted to come to my own room for weeks. I have been hiding out in the training center and stalking the halls while everyone slept. I have even been stalking the alleys when hunting just so I don’t have to come back to my room to see Bella. She always wants to talk and wants to ‘be there for me’ or some shit.

That is not what I need, I need to be alone. I need this time to myself to beat myself up for being a complete and total ass. I turn the water off and dress and pace around my room. I want to go to Payne and say I’m sorry for what I did. I want to go to her and satisfy my craving for her. I want to feel pain for the images I have been formulating at the sight and thought of her. I want all of this at the exact same moment. This is a sign that I am losing my mind.

I decide to just stay in my room and sulk like I do best. I call Wrath and cancel my hunting tonight. I know that if I go out I can get myself or someone else hurt. After a few hours I walk to the kitchen, grab an apple and then head back to my room.

The rest of the night was spent with me just obsessing over what I am going to do with Payne, what I want to do, and what I shouldn’t do. I sleep and hear Bella come in right before dawn. I sleep a few more hours and then head down to the training center. I have two apples and water and know I need to talk to Payne. I need to get past this and let us get back to our friendship. I am not going to lose the one person that effectively puts up with my shit.

I am working on my last apple when I see her come in. She looks amazing. I am trying to rein myself in but my mind gets lost in what my body wants. My body calls for her. I stand, throw away my last core and walk to the door of the training center. I don’t know what I am doing until after I have done it. I locked us in together. I have to have her so badly it hurts.

‘Mine.’ The word is spoken in my head and I accept it because I will take her and for a moment she will be mine. All rational thinking is thrown out of the window as I get close to her. I can smell her attraction and I grab her and kiss her. I show her with my mouth how badly I need to feel her.

Payne

The next day, with my new resolve in tact, I went to the training center with my head held high. He was already there, sitting on the bench, eating his apple. Watching his jaw clench as he chewed sent a shudder through me. I looked away from him, stood in the middle of the room and started stretching. In my peripheral vision, I saw him stand, throw out his apple core, go to the center door and lock it. Then he walked over to me.

Confusingly, I looked up at him, into his eyes. The fire was still there and my insides reacted. Praying to the Scribe Virgin he wouldn’t recognize my physical reaction, I took a deep breath and said, “Look, I’m sorry for yesterday, Z. I took advantage of your vulnerability and I am sorry for that. You are my friend. Let’s just forget it ever happened, true? And, uh....what’s up with locking the door?”

Suddenly, his hands were on my face and his mouth was attacking mine. I tried to pull back but he had my head in a vice grip. He started walking forward, forcing me to walk backward; until I went my back went hard into the wall. He placed his entire body to mine and I could feel him, hard, against my belly. He removed his hands from my face and snaked them down my neck, my shoulders, my arms. His lips then went to my neck and he kissed and tongued and nipped. My head tilted slightly on its own accord to give him better access and my hands went to the back of his head. Breathlessly, I was able to pant out, “Z, what are you doing?” His hands ran down my sides to my ass and he squeezed. He cupped my ass and lifted. My legs went around his waist and his cock was right where I wanted it to be. Only our clothes were in the way. His face came back to mine, our noses and foreheads touching. “I am not sorry for yesterday. I want you…to be inside of you.”

I let out a low growl and attacking his mouth this time, thrusting my tongue into his mouth. I nipped my tongue on his fang, so I ran my tongue on his lips before it retreated into his mouth again. My hands ran down his back and I began pulling at the back of his pants. Our mouths never stopped their intense assault. He stepped out of his pants and furiously worked on getting mine off. My legs rewrapped around his waist and he dipped his fingers between us. “You are so wet,” he said into my mouth. I replied, “Neem me,” take me, in the old language. With that his hand went to the wall next to my head to brace himself and he plunged into my core. I screamed out and he pulled almost all the way out of me before thrusting back in. The friction was insane and I could feel something building deep down in my belly. He was moaning and groaning into my mouth as he pushed and pulled himself in and out of me. My hips seemed to move involuntarily with the rhythm he was creating. His mouth went to my neck and he was nipping and kissing and he said I felt so good. My head tilted back slightly against the wall, forcing my chest into his. His other hand grasped my breast and pushed my sports bra up and he teased and pinched my nipple. “So fucking perfect,” he murmured. His mouth returned to my ear and he whispered, “come with me Payne. I want to feel you come.” His words seemed to be my undoing as my body convulsed, the walls surrounding him clenching tighter. I was only able to call out his name in barely a whisper. I grabbed hold of his back and dug my nails in as my core spasmed again and again. He pumped into me once, twice more and then I felt him still, releasing into me as he loudly whispered an “oh, fuck, Payne”. His mouth returned to mine, softly now, slowing running his tongue over my lips and kissing them softly.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled us both down to the mats, never disconnecting us. I laid my head on his chest as both of us tried to control our breathing. He ran his fingers up and down my back soothingly. “Wow,” we both seemed to say without uttering a word.