Chapter 9

Zsadist

Catching my breath as I let my hand run up and down Payne’s back, I think about what we just did. I have never had that great of a release before. It relaxed me, energized me, and even excited me again. I was laying on my back, the cold mats under me, and warm peaceful Payne above me. Normally, I would freak out at the thought of having someone above me, but with Payne, it doesn’t bother me. I would be more bothered if she left the nice warm cocoon that we had made.

My cock is still hard and still inside her warm wet core. I don’t ever want to leave this place. I, for once in this entire week, feel relaxed. Payne shifts slightly above me and it causes my cock to stand to attention even more. I push my legs up to give me some leverage and move my hips up slowly, to see what her reaction will be to me wanting to go again.

She moves, pushes her upper body up and grinds against me. “Again?” Her eyes connect with mine and the spark fires through my system. Those eyes of hers are dangerous. I wrap my arm around her hips to steady her as I rolled over, putting her on the mats and me on top of her.

“Yes again.” I ease out of her, only to ease my way back in. It was slow at first. I wanted to feel everything. The first time was too fast; it was amazing, but it was too fast. This time, I take her hands in mine and put them above her head. Then, making sure she kept them there, I let my fingers trail down the backs of her arms. Her skin so soft. I drop my head to her chest and nip at her collar bone. My hand find their way to her breasts, where I brush my thumb over the hardened nipples.

Since Bella was the only one I had really been with, I was still new to a lot of things. But, Payne…she was special. She reacted to everything. I could tell by her reactions what she liked and what she loved. Touching her breasts, she liked. Leaning my head down to her neck and grazing her skin with my fangs, she loved. She groaned at the back of her throat to the point when I felt the vibration on my lips. Her back arched up off the mats, drawing us even closer.

I take her hint and kiss and nip at her neck more while maneuvering my hands under her hips, gripping her ass. The energy builds up and I want to claw at her ass. I want to claw at all of her. I am overcome with the need to take her rough and savage. She is so perfect for that. She would let me know if it hurt; she would let me know if she liked it. And she would be able to take any pain that would be given.

Again, I take her hands in mine and keep them above her head, causing me to stretch over her. The tension goes straight to my cock and the angle changes. It becomes more intense and I move faster. Needing the added friction, I keep one hand on her wrists and the other on her hips as I plunge into her.

Gripping hard at her hips, I lose myself. “Payne, damn, you..so…FUCK!” I feel her walls clench around me and I am falling onto her, shuddering in release. I lay both of my hands on the side of her body, needing to feel her softness as I come back down from my high.

I have removed myself from her because I know that if I don’t we will be here all day. I am spent for the moment and I roll off of her, still catching my breath. “I didn’t plan for that to happen.” My mind finally kicking back in and yelling at me for taking advantage of Payne. I sit up and pull my pants back into place then look at her, hoping her face will tell me what she’s thinking.

Payne

The most amazing thing just happened to me, with the most amazing man I have ever met....and he is now sitting next to me, pulling on his pants and telling me he didn’t mean for it to happen. I can’t help the tears welling up in my eyes. I must have done something wrong. I must not be the beautiful, soft woman he wants. No, I am a warrior, who has hardened muscles and likes to spar and beat the shit out of punching bags.

What do I have to offer him? My self-esteem just took a huge punch in the stomach and I suddenly felt very raw. I adjusted my top and reached over to get my pants. As I was putting them on, I began to get angry yet I was only able to mutter to him, “I’m sorry you didn’t mean for it to happen. But I am not sorry it happened.” I looked over at him, clenching my jaw, trying to keep the tears from spilling over. “Don’t worry Z, I won’t tell anyone.” I got up and attempted to walk to the door with my head held high. But I felt like I had just been used. He can’t get it from Bella....so he took it from me. Well, he didn’t take it, I gave it to him. I unlocked the door and I know my posture was as slumped over as I felt.

We have just spent too much time together. The kiss the other day was just a natural response to adrenaline. This was in conjunction with that - just emotions overflowing. He had a lot going on with Bella, with his past. I looked up at the ceiling as I walked back to the west wing. Jesus I was so stupid. I just complicated his life even more. I wanted to go back to the gym and apologize.

Instead, I decided a little space was all we needed. I could forego my workouts for a few days. Give us both some time to clear our heads. I went into my room, undressed, and took a scalding hot shower in an attempt to wash off the filth that I had become.