Chapter 3

Zsadist

After I come back to the compound from hunting, I head upstairs, change and go to sleep instantly. I am so exhausted from the last few hours and I fall asleep for a decent amount of time. When I wake, I see Bella’s still asleep and that is fine by me. I get changed into my jogging pants and head back down to the training room. As I walk down the corridor all I can think about is what to do when I see Payne. She has taken up residency in the back of my mind, telling me how much of a screw up I am. Payne’s voice is my subconscious yelling at me for what I am and what I will always be, the scary one. As I enter the training center I see her standing there drinking water. In that instant I know it is too much for me to be near her. It has to be the fact that I just fed or something to make me see her in a different light. I eye her curves, her softness, her hidden strength and curse at the thought. I find myself growing hard at the sight of her. I hold back the thoughts, willing myself to stay calm.

She turns then and walks right into me. She is such a small thing compared to me, but then all females are. It amazes me she can take someone like me and give me a run for my money on the mats. She pops my jaw with her elbow and I step back at the contact. She says “Nice of you to show, Fuckhead.” I instinctively want to clean her mouth out, but it makes me smile at the name she has for me. My head is fucked and if only this little thing knew how damaged I was. I grab her around the neck, wanting to show her the kind of power I have over her and how she needs to be on her toes all the time. The closeness to her stirs something deep in me. I instantly have a need to push her up against the wall and take her as mine, mark her as mine. I am shocked by this since the need to be with Bella isn’t even this strong. I drop my hold on her and turn to head back out the door. Needing to get away from her and needing to clear my head.

In that moment she lands me on my ass. I am staring up at the ceiling, amazed that someone like me let my guard down for Payne to get me on my back so easily. Angry with myself that I let these females get into my head so much. I sit up and push any feelings or urges out of my head. They are not welcome and are only distracting me at this point.

Payne

The next day I was up and showered in record time. I assumed it was because I couldn’t wait to spar again. Or was it I couldn’t wait to spar with him again? I shook my head trying to release that thought. In an attempt to convince myself, I admitted it was just the adrenaline talking.

Walking into the training center, I noticed I was alone. So I hit the treadmill. As my legs began to tire, I look down at the computer and realize I had been running for an hour. Fucker wasn’t going to show up. Figures.

I grabbed a water bottle from the mini-fridge and drank a big gulp. I was pissed off that I ran my legs into the ground. I turned around and about choked on the water as I walked right into a muscular chest, complete with two nipple rings. My breath hitched. It was perfectly sculpted…his pectorals begging me to touch them. And I wanted to, God, did I want to. For the second time, I shook my head, trying to shake the thoughts loose. I looked up at him and popped my elbow into his jaw.

“Nice of you to show, Fuckhead.”

Z wrapped his hand around my neck, spun me around and pulled my back to his chest while simultaneously taking a jab to my kidneys. Then he let me go. I took a big step away from him and turn around, looking at him, confused. He was turning and walking away. Knowing I wasn’t done with him, I ran up behind him, squatted down, and swept with my leg knocking his legs out from under him. He went down with an umpf! but pushed himself up by the arms, turned and sat on his ass, legs stretched out in front of him. I was still in my squatted position, so we were at eye level with each other. I could see there was something different about his eyes today - there was no passion, no life in them at all. I walk over to the fridge and grab two waters. As I near him, I throw him a bottle and sit down on the mat across from him.

“So clearly you are not into this today. Anything I can do to help?”

“Yeah, I’m not. Can I have a raincheck?” He looks down at his hands. “No, nothing you can do to help.”

“Raincheck...you got it.” Wanting to question him more, knowing he’s got something on his mind, but I know not to push. So I stand up and walk out of center, feeling utterly deflated. As I get a bit down the hall, I put my back against the wall and exhale a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. What is happening to me?!?!