Chapter 5

Zsadist

Seeing the blood running down her chin from her nose, I bring my hands to her face, pushing her head back. “Fuck! I’m sorry. I… I....Sorry.” I survey her face to determine the damage but I have no idea what I am looking for. I pull her to the bench and gently push her down to sit. I rush to the table with the towels on them, grabbing one for her nose while stopping by the mini-fridge for an ice pack.

I pull her shoulders down so she laying down on the bench. “Here, hold this to your nose,” handing her the ice pack covered with the towel. “I don’t know how to tell if it’s broken or not but at least this will help stop the bleeding.” I run my hands over my head and start pacing. “Shit, Payne, I’m sorry. I have really been out of it these past few days. I was distracted. I forgot you weren’t one of the brothers. They probably would of seen that coming. I’m so, so sorry.”

What Payne didn’t know was that during the spar all I could think about was Payne and Bella, Bella and Payne. But I never meant to cause a female of worth harm. Yes, I had my fair share of prostitutes in an alley. I have taken their blood, but never drained them, and never hurt them like I just hurt Payne.

Payne

Sitting up, I see Z pacing and looking utterly disgusted with himself. It was no big deal to me. Bloody lips, lacerated chins and cheeks, even the occasional broken bone happen when you spar. But he obviously needed to hear it from me.

“Z, calm down. It’s just a bloody nose. And fuck you. ‘I forgot you weren’t one of the brothers. They probably would of seen that coming.’ You have never treated me like a female until just then. Now tell me what the hell is going on with you and I will consider accepting your apology.”

Zsadist

She doesn’t let me live anything down. She is a female that calls me on my shit. I am shocked by her attitude towards me but it makes me smile. Brushing my hand over my head again, “I didn’t mean it like that.” My inner self yelling me. I did mean it like that, but not in the way she is taking it. Fuck! When did I fuck things up so bad? I always mess things up. I can’t talk to her about my personal shit-the shit that I need to leave at the door when I walk in here but never can.

After the bleeding stopped and my nerves have calmed, I stand against the wall of the training center raking my hand over my head. “It is my fault you were hurt,” I admit to her and the pain that is caused from saying those words aloud is enough to make me go mad. “We should calm down on the sparing, at least until things work themselves out in my life.” Pushing off the wall, I start walking toward the door but I hear her move and speak.

“It was an accident, don’t beat yourself up about it,” she says.

I don’t know how to get her to see that this is who I am. I am the hot-headed scary one that everyone stays away from. I am the warrior that makes mistakes, mistakes that can cause others harm. My mind jumps to Bella and then back to Payne.

I brush off her comment knowing that it is my fault that she was hurt. “I have to go,” I state with a sort of authority on the whole matter. I need to leave this place as soon as possible.

I hear her make a noise, like she was going to object or something. It makes me smirk that she has such courage, even around me. I slow my walk and turn back to her, seeing her looking at me. Her eyes immediately divert the stare as I raise an eyebrow at her.
“You are going to come back tomorrow to do a usual work out, right?” I am slightly taken aback at her request, thinking too much into it. I rack my brain, wanting to know if it means she wants to see me again, or if she is just asking because she has no one else to work out with that has the schedule like I do.

“Yeah, I’ll be here.” I turn toward the door and get out of there before things get weird for me again.

These few days have been a real headfuck for me. I am walking down the hall and a smirk forms on my face as I think about the ‘fuckhead’ nickname she has for me. I am also thinking about how much I miss our banter like we had the first couple of days, how everything has been forced and covered up because of me. Sure, she doesn’t care one ounce about me and just wants to use my skills and learn. Anyone female in a class full of males would want the same thing. Meanwhile, my head has been filled with ideas of her as ‘mine’.